Last week we covered the basics of what can be hindering a woman’s ability to experience orgasms. As we saw, there is a chance that the reason can be medical, and if a woman believes this to be the case then she really needs to seek proper medical attention.
The pleasure of sex is one of the greatest gifts we receive as a human being, but it needs to be handled with intelligence, responsibility and planning. The sooner both you and your female partner understand that the brain is the largest sex organ the happier you’ll be. Now, before we move forward with great ideas to hook your lover’s mind and body and get her ready both for great sex and great orgasms I need to mention the need to practice safe sex. Yes, I’m sure you’ve heard and read about how to practice safe sex a million times, you know about condoms and you know about STD’s, but sometimes you get lazy, or you want to get lazy and think you can let things slide. You can’t. Here’s why:
1. Women who fear becoming pregnant or getting an STD have a far harder time loosening up and enjoying themselves during sex. They may pretend otherwise but it’s always at the back of their mind, and frankly, women get the short end of the stick as far as both issues go. Have compassion and be responsible and you’ll end up with a much hotter sex life.
2. Condoms may not be the most fun thing to wear, however, be a grown up and realize that men still enjoy orgasms wearing them AND because they lessen the sensation a bit they allow you to stay harder longer.
3. There is now some preliminary evidence (still being checked out) that HPV STD virus may be linked to prostrate cancer. If you’re gonna luv wear the glove!
Okay, now that that’s over let’s get down to the fun. You have two big goals in order to win at the challenge of the female orgasm:
1. You need to learn to unleash the amazing female libido by helping her discover her true sexual self.
2. Your girlfriend/lover needs to equate you with sexual pleasure.
The Amazing Female Libido and How to Get It Started
Just as you have your own taste in food, fashion, and porn, your girlfriend/lover has her own taste in what turns her on sexually. Even a woman who doesn’t yet (and I mean yet) experience orgasms still gets turned on sexually (the wonderful thing about women is that interest and ability to enjoy sex doesn’t peak until we’re in our mid 30’s and it stays that way into our 60’s). Unfortunately many women either only have a very vague notion of what turns them on sexually, or are only familiar with just a few things. Your job, my dear man, is to help your woman discover as many things as you can that turn her on and then shamelessly use this information to keep her libido humming. Why? Because women have sexual engines that take much longer than a man’s to warm up, and we can stay aroused for hours without it driving us batty the way it does you. You want a pay off from all this investment you’re putting in right? The more you keep her fire stoked the more frequently she’s going to want to have sex with you.
I challenge you, therefore, to go on a “turn on” quest with your woman (of course you should be reading my article here at Seduction Insider “The Art of Aural Sex” as well). The big part of the challenge will be for you to keep from projecting what makes you hot onto her – this has to be a real quest for her taste or it won’t work. You need to help her discover what sites, sounds, food, surroundings, movies, books, thoughts, ideas etc. that turn her on. The more your woman discovers what turns her on, the more she’s going to want to think about sex. The more she thinks about sex the more she’s going to want to have it – with you!
Yes, movies should be on your woman’s erotic discovery agenda but please understand that most porn is NOT that erotic for women – because it’s based on male sexual desire, not female. Women prefer their erotic stories to have plots, stories, and real characters they can care about. Start with movies that are rated “R” but known for their steam, and then try something such as a movie from the “Red Shoe Diaries” series.
Remember, women often need to move far more slowly into indulging into new aspects of sexuality. By being a safe place for her to delve into and discover her true sexual self she’ll learn to open up and blossom with you in exciting ways. Chances are she’s not going to run right out and visit the sex toy shop with you, but she might be happy if you bought her a toy to try out first, and she’d probably especially like a book of erotica especially aimed at women�but once she begins to find the things that turn her on look out! She may surprise you with her appetite!
Make Sure She Equates You with Sexual Pleasure
By now you should definitely understand that your woman learning to orgasm is going to be a process. As I discussed in the first part of this series she may have to go off and masturbate by herself to figure it out and then show you what she’s learned. Make sure to be patient and supportive and that you keep communicating on what she’s discovered and incorporate that in your love making sessions.
Once she has learned to orgasm on her own, and then with you watching, the next easiest way for her to orgasm is most likely via oral sex – even if it hasn’t worked in the past. You see, once a woman learns how to orgasm it’s far easy to do�again and again, and the softness of a man’s tongue can work miracles. Become a connoisseur of cunnilingus! Learn to use your fingers for extra stimulation all over her sensitive pelvic area, learn to bring her close to an orgasm and then back off, switching your attention for awhile to teasing her thighs, her stomach�the longer you draw out her arousal before she orgasms the stronger the orgasm will be – and of course the same goes for you as well (I’m sure you’ll be reaping benefits from this soon as well).
The most difficult way for her to experience an orgasm, however, is likely going to be via intercourse. That’s why you need to make the effort to try different positions that allow either you, or her, access to her clitoris to give her the extra stimulation she’ll need. It might take some practice to work out the logistics and to find the position that suits you both best, but it’ll be worth it. When she starts experiencing orgasms with you inside of her a whole new world new world of sex together will open up for her.
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